It's "Git 'R Done!" Week

So, Don and I are both rather prone to distraction, I admit.  And, sometimes a bit of procrastination.
The biggest difference is that Don works best under pressure, and we discussed...no, agreed!...that much of the excavating, and both of the girls' bedrooms need to be completed by the first weekend in May.
That's only...8 or so days away! Yikes!

I am confident that Don and Nate can do it...IF...they can just stay focused!  This is definitely a challenge with all that's been going on around here, but not impossible.

In fact, here are some photos of the progress:

That's the excavation work so far.  It's going pretty well!  Won't be long before we can plant grass, thank goodness.  All of us are SO TIRED of the plethora of mud and dirt...that we and our pets track into our cars and house!

In this last photo, I am standing where the detached garage will eventually sit, looking towards where our deck will stand, hopefully by next summer!





And, inside....

Steadily, the second floor is taking shape.  Don overzealous in his promises, first told the girls their rooms would be ready by February 1st.

At the time he was still employed by a Coatesville, PA-based company and driving an hour each morning and evening, not leaving much time or energy for this home improvement project.

Then, it was "early-March"...and then "mid-April"...OYE!  

But, this week and next he purposely scheduled time to work at home in the afternoons, though he still has his own business appointments and whatnot nearly every morning.







In other news, I took engagement photos for Nate and Brook last weekend.


Only 5 months...20 weeks...to go!  Yikes!

Our fun photo shoot, at the pretty park less than two miles from us, where we often walk our dogs, went quite well for this amateur photographer.

We picked the right time of day, thus the lighting was fabulous.

Out of about 40 shots, 14, or so, produced splendid photos, ha, ha, ha!  Not terrible odds for an amateur, though.

Well, anyway, good enough that a friend of ours from church (who is also planning a wedding on the smaller, more practical side) asked me to photograph her wedding this June.  In exchange, she, an incredibly creative woman of many talents, offered to help in any way needed with Nate and Brook's wedding!  I'm definitely taking her up on that offer!  I took a page out of Don's book on that one, with the old "barter and trade" technique.



And, finally...

Remember that adorable, young female cat that took up residence in our barn on Rosie's
birthday?

Well, I guess we delayed a bit too long to have her spayed...because she's definitely been bred!  I can feel the kittens growing inside of her now.

We are thinking she has about two weeks to go.

Part of me is super-excited because I ADORE kittens.  The other part is stressing out about keeping mama and babies safe, as well as finding good homes for the sweet little ones.  Although a few acquaintances have already come forward...including my soon-to-be daughter-in-law and son, providing they find a rental that allows it.  We shall see...







Watch for my next blog post - the one that will feature those completed bedrooms, I hope.  A bit about my "Mary Poppins" choreography adventure.... And, maybe, a few more wedding details?

There's Always A Story!

New business equipment is also for our "yard re-shaping"!

In my last blog post, I poured out my heart.  Shared my own perspective.  I didn't mention Don much, though he IS the one through whom God made much of what I hoped and prayed for come to fruition.  I am so grateful for him!  Westbrook Enterprise, his septic repair/tank installation and replacement business is going well!  With recent changes in state and local requirements, many systems in our area need to brought up to code.  Don's been very deliberate about networking over the last 4 months or so, and those folks are sending plenty of work our way!  Keeps him and Nate busy, thank goodness!



Don's adventurous, "Go for it!" spirit has been the source of many of our stories, that's for sure! In fact, with Nate and Brook's marriage getting closer each day, many-a-story is being shared with all these young adults around the dinner table!


I've got a much more recent "Don"-story to share today, but, first...

...As most of you know, Rosemary is an avid horsewoman, thriving on all things "equine" since she was about six years old.  While equestrian sports are often reserved for the privileged and wealthy, she's been blessed with good ponies and great horses to own and ride, sometimes, show... willing instructors to coach her, talented mentors to share their wisdom, and many opportunities to learn.

Lexie, the horse we've owned for 12+ years has grown and learned with Rosie.  But, Lexie is now 14 years old.  She's still fairly athletic, but Rosie realized last summer that Lex is showing some early signs of arthritis, she tires more quickly, and has likely reached her competitive limit in combined training (jumping and dressage) and eventing.  So, Rosie began praying... and asking around... for a "project horse" - a younger, more athletic horse with whom she could grow as a trainer, and competitor.

One day last week, she happened to be on the internet looking at horse trailers when she stumbled upon an advertisement for a horse.  The mare was an OTTB, off track thoroughbred, five years old.  Rosie and Don contacted the owner.  While they never found out his whole story, they learned that this man, also a farrier, loved his racehorses, but due to his physical injury needed to retire from all things horse-related.  Couldn't afford to keep any, especially not the ones who were ready to retire from the track.  He just wanted his mare, the last of his horses, to go to a good home where she could learn something new...start a new "career" away from the racetrack.

Turns out, "Sweet Beatrice" is a beauty of a thoroughbred, healthy with good confirmation!  She earned some money on the racetrack, actually, and her last race was just in the fall of 2017.  This man and his wife GAVE the mare to Rosie!

And, now we have FOUR horses living at Dealan-De Farm.  Oye!

Rosie's got her work cut out for her - it takes lots of patience, consistency, persistence and guts to re-train a racehorse.  It is going to be quite a challenge!  But, God never does anything halfway.  I firmly believe that if Rosie wants it and works for it, God will meet her where she's at...provide the strength, knowledge, help, and equipment needed to reach her goal.

So, this all happened between Thursday and Sunday of last week.  Then, on Monday, we notice quite a bit of activity going on down at our neighbor's property.  I better backtrack a moment here...

Many things rescued by our resident "dumpster diver"!

...Shortly after we moved into the campers and began cleaning up our property, we walked over and introduced ourselves to Jim.  A very friendly, widowed gentleman, he invited us inside and we spent two hours chatting with him.  He shared with us that his house was on the market.  "Too much for him to manage at his age.  Time to downsize and move closer to his son."  He wasn't in a hurry, but hoped to have it sold by spring.

Since then, we have talked briefly here and there, and we wave to one another as we passed on the road.  Now, fast forward to this week...



On Tuesday, Don decided to swing by and see if he could help with anything, as we'd heard that the house was sold.  When he got out of his truck, he discovered a dumpster positioned just below a second story window and two men, not Jim, pitching boxes into it.

What the heck?

Turns out, Jim had a stroke over the weekend, and isn't doing well at all.   However, the house is sold and settlement is imminent.  His son and brother and sister-in-law didn't know what else to do, so they were just throwing away most of his and his late wife's things!

What?!  Why wouldn't you call an auction house or something at least?!


Sadly, Don arrived AFTER the first dumpster had been hauled away.

Jim's family members told Don to take whatever he wanted from the second dumpster, so he and Nate rescued whatever they could with plans to keep a few things for our family and sell the rest on Ebay or a local consignment/antique shop.



Such cool old things!!  Many pretty things!  China, glass, books, games, an old ice cream maker, a metal detector, and more.

Yikes!  We still have some things of our own to unpack!  Really, Don?  

But, we both sooo appreciate antiques, and have passed that sentiment to our children, apparently.  We should run an antique store, lol!

Jim's son walked over today to give us a few more things he thought we could use.

We are praying for Jim and his family.  This situation is a powerful reminder for us - people and relationships are WAY more important than things and money!  When it comes down to it, "stuff" is replaceable, loved ones are not.

That's my "Only Don" story!

So, Don got distracted from working on those bedrooms for the first part of this week (Which means I don't have any "home improvement" photos to share, yet!), but the plan is still to have them completed by May 1st.  Here's hoping...

What Season Is It?

The calendar... and the crocuses and daffodils... say "spring", but the daily temperatures and regular snow showers of late say "winter".  I keep hearing people call this current PA season "sprinter!".  Several of my older clients at the salon predict that we'll go from this "sprinter" weather right into summer, temperatures jumping from 40's and barely 50 right up to 80 degrees in a matter of a couple of days.  Maybe so!


Either way, it is one of those things we can't change.  It's just a season, and our attitude can be one of frustration or resignation or joy.  For many of us, our attitude about it can change with the day!


But, our attitude... now that IS something we can control.






I've been thinking about seasons, lately.  (Maybe, because that has been our main conversation-starter with our guests at the salon for the last three weeks!)  

The seasons of our lives.....the seasons of my life.  In hindsight, defining my life by its seasons helps me to organize my memories, experiences, lessons hard learned, victories...

No doubt, you've heard all of these analogies:



Women's brains are like spaghetti, Men's are like waffles.

Women's brains are like a bundle of wires, men's are like boxes...
                        ...Etcetera, etcetera....

We, women, are such complex creatures with our emotions, intuition, and...dare I say it...fluctuating hormones!

But, we are also logical, thoughtful and reflective.  Fully capable of organizing our minds, not by detaching our emotions, but by putting them in their proper place...not allowing them to control us.


That said, as I've been reflecting, quite a variety of emotions have come to the surface!

Don and I got married quite young, and began our family shortly thereafter.  In that first season of our lives together, many decisions were made.  Decisions that have shaped these last 20 years and, often, defined my "seasons".  That said, there have also been incidents and situations out of our control...out of MY control... that, at times, moved us from one season or chapter into another, unexpectedly.  How I view those "chapters" today has much to do with my attitude at the time, as well as my present attitude.

In that first season, when Don and I began this great adventure called "marriage", we were both working full-time.  Him, for his father's small business, and me, teaching special education in the public school system.



Then...Low and Behold!... pregnant with twins!  Not at all what we planned or expected, and less than two years into our marriage.... 

....Barely two years into my "career".

Another thing I had not anticipated? How gut-wrenched I would feel the day I went back to work, full-time, when my sweet babes were just 7 months old.  For me, that torn feeling did not subside after a week or two, as other working moms promised me it would.

Then, roughly two years later, along comes Grace Olivia.  And, with her conception, a desire...no, determination... grew in me to find a way to be home a bit longer this time.  Like, years, this time.  Thus began my season as a stay-at-home mom...a domestic engineer, if you will.

(Let me just take take a moment to say that I am not, in any way, judging moms of young children who choose 
to work.  Your choice and your calling is yours alone. I am just thankful that we have the freedom to choose!)

Given my upbringing during the 70's and 80's, influenced by some overpowering societal "norms" (and TV sitcoms!), raised by a woman influenced by the feminist movement of the 60's and who chose to go back to work full-time when I was 8 years old, who taught me to be independent and to value higher education and career-choice, the beginning of this new season of mine was fraught with internal turmoil and anxiety.  Even a battle with clinical depression.  But, out of this time came my newly-found faith and love for my Creator and Savior!  Yes, I fell deep into a mucky pit, but Jesus grabbed my hand, pulled me out, cleaned me off, and set me on the best path!

Photos from today's hike with Rosie!

I do not regret, for even a moment, the years that I chose to stay home with my children.  Oh, sure -  sacrifices were made.  Mostly, material in nature.  And, during those particularly-tight times, when even my frugal planning wasn't quite enough, or when we really wanted to set aside some "fun money", I worked part-time, temporarily, in various fields.

As you probably know, the pursuit of learning, as well as our faith, is of utmost importance to both me and Don, and my being at home allowed us to model those things for our kids in a way that would not have been possible otherwise.

Now, many years, and a couple of seasons later, I have morphed from a grey suburban-driving, homeschooling mom of 4 active, curious young 'uns needing much training, instruction and supervision, to a bright yellow VW beetle-driving, hairstylist mom of 4 well-adjusted, well-read, hard-working, young adults only needing my guidance.

That means I, now, have some time and energy to pursue my other interests, hence the reason I attended cosmetology school, and cut, color, perm and style hair for a living!  And, teach classes in literature and writing at our local homeschool co-op.  And, choreograph the dance scenes for a local theater's musical this summer,  And....

Whoa, Hoss!  Slow down! 

I have to be careful not to over-commit myself elsewhere, now that my role at home has changed.  For many years, I carefully guarded my time and energy and resources for my hubby and my youngsters.  (Little was left over for anything else!)  It would be sooo easy for me to go hog wild now...

...But, it seems that God has placed another honor and responsibility at my feet.  Her name is Brook, and she will soon marry my son.  I have only just begun to get to know her.

She doesn't yet know that I have been praying for her since Will, Nate and she were just 3 years old.  I had no idea, myself, who she was until just a couple months ago!  (And, quite honestly, I was very surprised.)

It's true!  Don and I were part of an incredible group of young Christian parents that met, not just Sunday mornings, but, informally, throughout the week back then, when we lived just outside of Ephrata, PA.  One impactful book that we read together inspired us to pray for our children's future spouses. (I can't even recall the title of the book, now!) This concept stuck with me over the years, periodically moving me to do just that, while on a walk or having my quiet prayer time.

Brook's background and upbringing are very different from Nate's and his sibling's...from my own, too.  I get the sense that she didn't have anyone consistently in her corner...that she was "thrown under the bus" regularly and in more ways than one.  Therefore, she learned to wear the label "victim" by the time she was a teenager.  She seems to carry around a heavy burden that is not hers to bear.

I don't know that she realizes, yet, her immense value.  That her life has a special purpose, and that God specially-designed her to fulfill it.  Nate recently shared with me that someone in her life berated and belittled her for her desire to eventually become a stay-at-home wife and mom...maybe, even, homeschool her and Nate's children for a few years.

My heart broke for her at that moment.

If it be God's will, I plan to make myself available to her.  To walk and talk with her, often.  To encourage and uplift her...teach her.  To empower her to be the wife and mother she's meant to be for Nate and my future grandchildren.

Hopefully, this family can help to break those awful strongholds in her life that hold her back from truly living life to its fullest, whatever that may look like for her.

So, this new season into which I traverse is probably not going to look anything like what I had envisioned.  That's okay, though.  I am trusting that God will equip me for this adventure, just as he has in the past.

Started working on our front walkway!

I know, I promised an update on the home improvements and the new business, but I just had to pour out my heart today.  

Next post, I will share what's going on 'round here!  Photos and all!

Pets are NOT "practice for children".

Not by a long shot, Folks.  Can I get an "Amen" from the veteran moms and dads out there!

I hear this from 20- and 30-somethings that cross my path, sometimes, and find myself sweetly muffling a gaffaw.

My other favorite?  "Well, my dogs are just like having children."  Ummmm, Nah. You, my friend, are VERY naive to think that.

Parenting, a long-term, "all in" commitment, means you have the honor of holding the title "Mom" or "Dad"...for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  It also means that the way you choose to handle that role will likely be remembered, and either repeated or rejected by the next generation of your family.  (That pet of yours will pass away in 8 to 12 years, and you can start all over again with a clean slate if you want.)  

Each stage of parenting presence new challenges...Just when you think you have it down pat, those kids march right on into the next stage of growing up...Darn it!




I felt like I had a pretty good handle on the "t'ween to 16" phase....Nothing could've truly prepared me for becoming "Mother to Young Adults", though.








And, let me tell ya - I think this might be the most challenging stage of parenthood, yet!
          When do I speak?  When do I hold my tongue?
          When I instruct and direct?  When do I just encourage?
          When do I rescue?  When do I let them struggle to figure it out themselves?
  When do I push them to action? (Everyone needs a swift kick in the rear sometimes, right?!)
  When do I linger behind, quietly available, and allow them some extra time to reflect and dream?
          

Then, there's helping them navigate the sensitive matters of the heart.....

Kids definitely don't come with instructions.  But, thankfully, the Bible is chock-full of good advice.  When in doubt, I do turn to prayer and scripture....eventually.

I've been a Believer for almost twenty years.  You'd think that over the years, I would've learned to go to God and His Word first...but, no. 

I still worry.

Still try to "wing it", sometimes.  

Still, on occasion, turn to my husband and plead, "Fix this somehow!" , as if he might have all the answers.

Still "open mouth, insert foot".

Hey, I'm only human! Just another work in progress, right?

And, so are my children! 

Recently, however, I have been very pleasantly surprised and proud....

Whenever I felt like I was screwing up this whole "Mom" gig, I prayed that God would use me, faults and all, to reach and teach my kids. That His grace would cover over my flubs.  Don would do this as well, and I witnessed, fairly regularly, him asking one of the kids to forgive him for some parental faux pas.  We tried to always approach parenting with honesty and humility and openness...often, bearing our hearts.

Lately, we've seen some fruits of our 20 years of prayers and efforts!  All three of them (referring to the ones over 16) have made such wise decisions lately about various things....I really think they are much wiser than I at 20.

I'm thinking of Nate and Brook at the moment, who've decided that a very small, personal wedding, keeping costs at a minimum, is much better than all of us going into debt for a large wedding with all the bells and whistles.  Nate says what matters most to him is that, "At the end of the day, we're married."  And, they'd rather put money towards a weekend at the beach together and buying a house as soon as possible.  Wise choice!

And, then, there's Grace.  She is postponing any type of college for the moment, because she doesn't want to waste time or money on that.  She is looking into alternative education programs, though, and may pursue her interest in skin care and cosmetics through an esthetics program in our area.  She will continue to explore her goat husbandry and goat milk products, too!  And, she recently proposed to Rosemary that the two of them start a pet-sitting business together this summer - great idea! (In fact, that discussion is what got me thinking about the concept for this post!)

Had to sneak in a shot of my gorgeous daughters!

And, William, with his heart for God.  Rather than rushing into moving back to Pennsylvania because he gets homesick from time to time, he continues to work hard in his position as head mechanic for Skaneateles Country Club, and participates in many events and activities with his church family, consisting of many other young adults.  He prays, fervently, for God's will in his life. 

And those are just a few examples.

Wow.  The other totally awesome thing?  They willingly and frequently converse with us!  They share ideas and ask for feedback. They listen to us and to each other.  They all clearly care greatly about one another and remain good friends, even as they strike out on their own, becoming more and more independent.  Don and I have begun that transition into "Life Coach" - a tad daunting, but really satisfying, too!

In short, pets are awesome!  Great additions to the family.  As you know, we've had our share of dogs and cats and other critters, and we love them to pieces!  But, they DO NOT truly prepare you for children, nor are they the equivalent of children.

Enough on that, Friends. In other news, Don's last day as an employee of Eldredge Septic Solutions is this Friday.  This comes about a month sooner than expected because Westbrook Enterprise took off like a rocket, Praise the Lord!  Don cannot continue to split his time between his employer and his own business.  Nate will be working, full-time, with Westbrook Enterprise.  It is very likely that Rosie will work part-time with them in the field, and Grace and I will help out wherever we can, of course.  As this business grows, William will have the option of joining us full-time, too.  I'm so happy that Don's dream of a family business, a dream he's had for nearly 20 years, is finally becoming a reality. 

More on that....and our home projects...next time.  I'm about to head out for one of my fave activities - walking the dogs at the park with Grace!  Happy Spring, Friends!