Pets are NOT "practice for children".

Not by a long shot, Folks.  Can I get an "Amen" from the veteran moms and dads out there!

I hear this from 20- and 30-somethings that cross my path, sometimes, and find myself sweetly muffling a gaffaw.

My other favorite?  "Well, my dogs are just like having children."  Ummmm, Nah. You, my friend, are VERY naive to think that.

Parenting, a long-term, "all in" commitment, means you have the honor of holding the title "Mom" or "Dad"...for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  It also means that the way you choose to handle that role will likely be remembered, and either repeated or rejected by the next generation of your family.  (That pet of yours will pass away in 8 to 12 years, and you can start all over again with a clean slate if you want.)  

Each stage of parenting presence new challenges...Just when you think you have it down pat, those kids march right on into the next stage of growing up...Darn it!




I felt like I had a pretty good handle on the "t'ween to 16" phase....Nothing could've truly prepared me for becoming "Mother to Young Adults", though.








And, let me tell ya - I think this might be the most challenging stage of parenthood, yet!
          When do I speak?  When do I hold my tongue?
          When I instruct and direct?  When do I just encourage?
          When do I rescue?  When do I let them struggle to figure it out themselves?
  When do I push them to action? (Everyone needs a swift kick in the rear sometimes, right?!)
  When do I linger behind, quietly available, and allow them some extra time to reflect and dream?
          

Then, there's helping them navigate the sensitive matters of the heart.....

Kids definitely don't come with instructions.  But, thankfully, the Bible is chock-full of good advice.  When in doubt, I do turn to prayer and scripture....eventually.

I've been a Believer for almost twenty years.  You'd think that over the years, I would've learned to go to God and His Word first...but, no. 

I still worry.

Still try to "wing it", sometimes.  

Still, on occasion, turn to my husband and plead, "Fix this somehow!" , as if he might have all the answers.

Still "open mouth, insert foot".

Hey, I'm only human! Just another work in progress, right?

And, so are my children! 

Recently, however, I have been very pleasantly surprised and proud....

Whenever I felt like I was screwing up this whole "Mom" gig, I prayed that God would use me, faults and all, to reach and teach my kids. That His grace would cover over my flubs.  Don would do this as well, and I witnessed, fairly regularly, him asking one of the kids to forgive him for some parental faux pas.  We tried to always approach parenting with honesty and humility and openness...often, bearing our hearts.

Lately, we've seen some fruits of our 20 years of prayers and efforts!  All three of them (referring to the ones over 16) have made such wise decisions lately about various things....I really think they are much wiser than I at 20.

I'm thinking of Nate and Brook at the moment, who've decided that a very small, personal wedding, keeping costs at a minimum, is much better than all of us going into debt for a large wedding with all the bells and whistles.  Nate says what matters most to him is that, "At the end of the day, we're married."  And, they'd rather put money towards a weekend at the beach together and buying a house as soon as possible.  Wise choice!

And, then, there's Grace.  She is postponing any type of college for the moment, because she doesn't want to waste time or money on that.  She is looking into alternative education programs, though, and may pursue her interest in skin care and cosmetics through an esthetics program in our area.  She will continue to explore her goat husbandry and goat milk products, too!  And, she recently proposed to Rosemary that the two of them start a pet-sitting business together this summer - great idea! (In fact, that discussion is what got me thinking about the concept for this post!)

Had to sneak in a shot of my gorgeous daughters!

And, William, with his heart for God.  Rather than rushing into moving back to Pennsylvania because he gets homesick from time to time, he continues to work hard in his position as head mechanic for Skaneateles Country Club, and participates in many events and activities with his church family, consisting of many other young adults.  He prays, fervently, for God's will in his life. 

And those are just a few examples.

Wow.  The other totally awesome thing?  They willingly and frequently converse with us!  They share ideas and ask for feedback. They listen to us and to each other.  They all clearly care greatly about one another and remain good friends, even as they strike out on their own, becoming more and more independent.  Don and I have begun that transition into "Life Coach" - a tad daunting, but really satisfying, too!

In short, pets are awesome!  Great additions to the family.  As you know, we've had our share of dogs and cats and other critters, and we love them to pieces!  But, they DO NOT truly prepare you for children, nor are they the equivalent of children.

Enough on that, Friends. In other news, Don's last day as an employee of Eldredge Septic Solutions is this Friday.  This comes about a month sooner than expected because Westbrook Enterprise took off like a rocket, Praise the Lord!  Don cannot continue to split his time between his employer and his own business.  Nate will be working, full-time, with Westbrook Enterprise.  It is very likely that Rosie will work part-time with them in the field, and Grace and I will help out wherever we can, of course.  As this business grows, William will have the option of joining us full-time, too.  I'm so happy that Don's dream of a family business, a dream he's had for nearly 20 years, is finally becoming a reality. 

More on that....and our home projects...next time.  I'm about to head out for one of my fave activities - walking the dogs at the park with Grace!  Happy Spring, Friends!