The calendar... and the crocuses and daffodils... say "spring", but the daily temperatures and regular snow showers of late say "winter". I keep hearing people call this current PA season "sprinter!". Several of my older clients at the salon predict that we'll go from this "sprinter" weather right into summer, temperatures jumping from 40's and barely 50 right up to 80 degrees in a matter of a couple of days. Maybe so!
Either way, it is one of those things we can't change. It's just a season, and our attitude can be one of frustration or resignation or joy. For many of us, our attitude about it can change with the day!
But, our attitude... now that IS something we can control.
I've been thinking about seasons, lately. (Maybe, because that has been our main conversation-starter with our guests at the salon for the last three weeks!)
The seasons of our lives.....the seasons of my life. In hindsight, defining my life by its seasons helps me to organize my memories, experiences, lessons hard learned, victories...
No doubt, you've heard all of these analogies:
Women's brains are like spaghetti, Men's are like waffles.
Women's brains are like a bundle of wires, men's are like boxes...
...Etcetera, etcetera....
We, women, are such complex creatures with our emotions, intuition, and...dare I say it...fluctuating hormones!
But, we are also logical, thoughtful and reflective. Fully capable of organizing our minds, not by detaching our emotions, but by putting them in their proper place...not allowing them to control us.
That said, as I've been reflecting, quite a variety of emotions have come to the surface!
In that first season, when Don and I began this great adventure called "marriage", we were both working full-time. Him, for his father's small business, and me, teaching special education in the public school system.
Then...Low and Behold!... pregnant with twins! Not at all what we planned or expected, and less than two years into our marriage....
....Barely two years into my "career".
Another thing I had not anticipated? How gut-wrenched I would feel the day I went back to work, full-time, when my sweet babes were just 7 months old. For me, that torn feeling did not subside after a week or two, as other working moms promised me it would.
Then, roughly two years later, along comes Grace Olivia. And, with her conception, a desire...no, determination... grew in me to find a way to be home a bit longer this time. Like, years, this time. Thus began my season as a stay-at-home mom...a domestic engineer, if you will.
(Let me just take take a moment to say that I am not, in any way, judging moms of young children who choose
to work. Your choice and your calling is yours alone. I am just thankful that we have the freedom to choose!)
Given my upbringing during the 70's and 80's, influenced by some overpowering societal "norms" (and TV sitcoms!), raised by a woman influenced by the feminist movement of the 60's and who chose to go back to work full-time when I was 8 years old, who taught me to be independent and to value higher education and career-choice, the beginning of this new season of mine was fraught with internal turmoil and anxiety. Even a battle with clinical depression. But, out of this time came my newly-found faith and love for my Creator and Savior! Yes, I fell deep into a mucky pit, but Jesus grabbed my hand, pulled me out, cleaned me off, and set me on the best path!
I do not regret, for even a moment, the years that I chose to stay home with my children. Oh, sure - sacrifices were made. Mostly, material in nature. And, during those particularly-tight times, when even my frugal planning wasn't quite enough, or when we really wanted to set aside some "fun money", I worked part-time, temporarily, in various fields.
As you probably know, the pursuit of learning, as well as our faith, is of utmost importance to both me and Don, and my being at home allowed us to model those things for our kids in a way that would not have been possible otherwise.
Now, many years, and a couple of seasons later, I have morphed from a grey suburban-driving, homeschooling mom of 4 active, curious young 'uns needing much training, instruction and supervision, to a bright yellow VW beetle-driving, hairstylist mom of 4 well-adjusted, well-read, hard-working, young adults only needing my guidance.
That means I, now, have some time and energy to pursue my other interests, hence the reason I attended cosmetology school, and cut, color, perm and style hair for a living! And, teach classes in literature and writing at our local homeschool co-op. And, choreograph the dance scenes for a local theater's musical this summer, And....
Whoa, Hoss! Slow down!
I have to be careful not to over-commit myself elsewhere, now that my role at home has changed. For many years, I carefully guarded my time and energy and resources for my hubby and my youngsters. (Little was left over for anything else!) It would be sooo easy for me to go hog wild now...
...But, it seems that God has placed another honor and responsibility at my feet. Her name is Brook, and she will soon marry my son. I have only just begun to get to know her.
She doesn't yet know that I have been praying for her since Will, Nate and she were just 3 years old. I had no idea, myself, who she was until just a couple months ago! (And, quite honestly, I was very surprised.)
It's true! Don and I were part of an incredible group of young Christian parents that met, not just Sunday mornings, but, informally, throughout the week back then, when we lived just outside of Ephrata, PA. One impactful book that we read together inspired us to pray for our children's future spouses. (I can't even recall the title of the book, now!) This concept stuck with me over the years, periodically moving me to do just that, while on a walk or having my quiet prayer time.
Brook's background and upbringing are very different from Nate's and his sibling's...from my own, too. I get the sense that she didn't have anyone consistently in her corner...that she was "thrown under the bus" regularly and in more ways than one. Therefore, she learned to wear the label "victim" by the time she was a teenager. She seems to carry around a heavy burden that is not hers to bear.
I don't know that she realizes, yet, her immense value. That her life has a special purpose, and that God specially-designed her to fulfill it. Nate recently shared with me that someone in her life berated and belittled her for her desire to eventually become a stay-at-home wife and mom...maybe, even, homeschool her and Nate's children for a few years.
My heart broke for her at that moment.
If it be God's will, I plan to make myself available to her. To walk and talk with her, often. To encourage and uplift her...teach her. To empower her to be the wife and mother she's meant to be for Nate and my future grandchildren.
Hopefully, this family can help to break those awful strongholds in her life that hold her back from truly living life to its fullest, whatever that may look like for her.
So, this new season into which I traverse is probably not going to look anything like what I had envisioned. That's okay, though. I am trusting that God will equip me for this adventure, just as he has in the past.
I know, I promised an update on the home improvements and the new business, but I just had to pour out my heart today.
Next post, I will share what's going on 'round here! Photos and all!
Another thing I had not anticipated? How gut-wrenched I would feel the day I went back to work, full-time, when my sweet babes were just 7 months old. For me, that torn feeling did not subside after a week or two, as other working moms promised me it would.
Then, roughly two years later, along comes Grace Olivia. And, with her conception, a desire...no, determination... grew in me to find a way to be home a bit longer this time. Like, years, this time. Thus began my season as a stay-at-home mom...a domestic engineer, if you will.
(Let me just take take a moment to say that I am not, in any way, judging moms of young children who choose
to work. Your choice and your calling is yours alone. I am just thankful that we have the freedom to choose!)
Given my upbringing during the 70's and 80's, influenced by some overpowering societal "norms" (and TV sitcoms!), raised by a woman influenced by the feminist movement of the 60's and who chose to go back to work full-time when I was 8 years old, who taught me to be independent and to value higher education and career-choice, the beginning of this new season of mine was fraught with internal turmoil and anxiety. Even a battle with clinical depression. But, out of this time came my newly-found faith and love for my Creator and Savior! Yes, I fell deep into a mucky pit, but Jesus grabbed my hand, pulled me out, cleaned me off, and set me on the best path!
 |
| Photos from today's hike with Rosie! |
I do not regret, for even a moment, the years that I chose to stay home with my children. Oh, sure - sacrifices were made. Mostly, material in nature. And, during those particularly-tight times, when even my frugal planning wasn't quite enough, or when we really wanted to set aside some "fun money", I worked part-time, temporarily, in various fields.
As you probably know, the pursuit of learning, as well as our faith, is of utmost importance to both me and Don, and my being at home allowed us to model those things for our kids in a way that would not have been possible otherwise.
Now, many years, and a couple of seasons later, I have morphed from a grey suburban-driving, homeschooling mom of 4 active, curious young 'uns needing much training, instruction and supervision, to a bright yellow VW beetle-driving, hairstylist mom of 4 well-adjusted, well-read, hard-working, young adults only needing my guidance.
That means I, now, have some time and energy to pursue my other interests, hence the reason I attended cosmetology school, and cut, color, perm and style hair for a living! And, teach classes in literature and writing at our local homeschool co-op. And, choreograph the dance scenes for a local theater's musical this summer, And....
Whoa, Hoss! Slow down!
I have to be careful not to over-commit myself elsewhere, now that my role at home has changed. For many years, I carefully guarded my time and energy and resources for my hubby and my youngsters. (Little was left over for anything else!) It would be sooo easy for me to go hog wild now...
...But, it seems that God has placed another honor and responsibility at my feet. Her name is Brook, and she will soon marry my son. I have only just begun to get to know her.
She doesn't yet know that I have been praying for her since Will, Nate and she were just 3 years old. I had no idea, myself, who she was until just a couple months ago! (And, quite honestly, I was very surprised.)
It's true! Don and I were part of an incredible group of young Christian parents that met, not just Sunday mornings, but, informally, throughout the week back then, when we lived just outside of Ephrata, PA. One impactful book that we read together inspired us to pray for our children's future spouses. (I can't even recall the title of the book, now!) This concept stuck with me over the years, periodically moving me to do just that, while on a walk or having my quiet prayer time.
Brook's background and upbringing are very different from Nate's and his sibling's...from my own, too. I get the sense that she didn't have anyone consistently in her corner...that she was "thrown under the bus" regularly and in more ways than one. Therefore, she learned to wear the label "victim" by the time she was a teenager. She seems to carry around a heavy burden that is not hers to bear.
I don't know that she realizes, yet, her immense value. That her life has a special purpose, and that God specially-designed her to fulfill it. Nate recently shared with me that someone in her life berated and belittled her for her desire to eventually become a stay-at-home wife and mom...maybe, even, homeschool her and Nate's children for a few years.
My heart broke for her at that moment.
If it be God's will, I plan to make myself available to her. To walk and talk with her, often. To encourage and uplift her...teach her. To empower her to be the wife and mother she's meant to be for Nate and my future grandchildren.
Hopefully, this family can help to break those awful strongholds in her life that hold her back from truly living life to its fullest, whatever that may look like for her.
So, this new season into which I traverse is probably not going to look anything like what I had envisioned. That's okay, though. I am trusting that God will equip me for this adventure, just as he has in the past.
 |
| Started working on our front walkway! |
I know, I promised an update on the home improvements and the new business, but I just had to pour out my heart today.
Next post, I will share what's going on 'round here! Photos and all!
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